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love advice Archives - sheisthat
Every man needs to know this before marriage!

There are so many wonderful single men out there who are unwilling to tie the knot because they have unrealistic expectations and dread meeting the wall. Ask a happily married guy, and he will tell you that marriage requires adjustment and it’s not rosy all the time but still totally worth it.

So here’s to all you guys who have sky high expectations:

  • You are more difficult to live with than you think you are. If your closest relationship is with your buddies, you always know you can leave them behind if things get messy. But, if you have a spouse, she will stick around despite you being unorganised, telling jokes that aren’t funny, or snoring too loud. And that will make you change for the better.
  • Know that no matter how good your wife is, she has issues too. She isn’t just about a pretty face and an adjusting nature. Her emotional baggage and insecurities might be just as vexing as yours but is just going through them differently. So, yes, it does get perplexing sometimes but it’s okay!
  • Your mother had a different role to play in your life. You can’t be expecting off your wife what you expected of your mom. She might not have all the strengths your mom did, but that also means she doesn’t have all the weaknesses. She isn’t your mother and don’t ever forget that.
  • Married sex IS wonderful. Movies have got us to believe that sex is only good when it is promiscuous. Spending a whole life with someone, sharing millions of touches and knowing exactly what will give pleasure when, is far better than the thrill of casual sex.

There you go! Marriage isn’t a bed of roses. But it’s beautiful. Go embrace the challenge and you will soon realize it’s so worth it.

How to hint at marriage without scaring him off

You are in a beautiful relationship and are ready for the next step, marriage. But, you are endlessly waiting for your guy to pop the question. Talking about marriage isn’t easy. No one knows how the discussion will be before they actually come to it.

Fret not. Here’s how you can gently hint him to marriage without looking desperate and scaring him off:

  • The best time to broach the topic is when someone you both know got engaged. You can cosy up together under a blanket with him and then casually bring up the topic without being very obvious. Tell him how beautiful it was to see the engaged couple promise to spend their lives together and how they are made for each other. Your guy will most probably get the hint. If he turns jittery or outright disagrees, tread lightly or you might burn your fingers.
  • Talk about your parents and his parent’s relationships. That will help you a great deal in knowing what he thinks about the institution of marriage. If his parents have had a healthy marriage, you are lucky because he has a model to look toward. If not, he might be embittered by his past and may be scared to commit. In that case, if he is really worth having, get him to see a counsellor to help his heal his past wounds and become more comfortable with committing long term.
  • When you’ll are curled up in bed catching up on romantic flicks, ask him questions on the lines of whether he believes there’s one person for everyone. Ask him what he thinks of infidelity and monogamy. Bringing up monogamy is a coded way of discussing marriage.
  • When your guy is around, casually browse through jewellery boards on Pinterest and point out to rings that make you swoon. Not only will he get the hint, but will also know the exact kind of ring he needs to buy before popping the big question.

There you go! That’s how you hint without him knowing that you are. Here’s to a proposal as soon as you’d like it to be.

How to deal with the agony of rejection

At some stage in our lives, most of girls have been in an emotional pit – Hankering after a guy, who isn’t into us and then blame ourselves, the guy, and worse, think something is wrong with us. The problem is that when we lose our heart to someone, we go all out taking efforts to please the guy and then when the rejection comes, we choose to look at the events in a particular way and attach negative meanings to it and invite pain.

Follow these tips if you’ve been rejected lately and trust, it will make the process easier:

  • Don’t fight your emotions. If you feel and release your emotions, you will notice the angst and pain will dissipate sooner. Bottling up feelings and forcefully trying to look happy hasn’t helped anyone. So scream, cry and do whatever that will make you vent your feelings and start feeling lighter.
  • Stop dwelling on the past endlessly. Instead concentrate on the future. Set goals for yourself and dream about what you aspire to be and then work relentlessly towards it. This will help you forget your past easier.
  • Take responsibility for what you got yourself into. Think maturely and feel more in control that way. Being in the victim mode will make us sulk deeper and we don’t want that.
  • Learn from the experience. Take the bad dating experience and pick out the vital lessons from it. When you learn from your mistakes, you avoid more heartaches later in life. Sweet deal!
  • When we are down in the rut, we slouch, we have low energy, and we tend to become more lethargic. If you get your physiology in place, your emotions will follow too. So stand tall, breathe in fresh air, exercise, and eat a nutrition rich diet. You will be amazed at how much better that makes you feel.

Now cheer up girl! The world’s waiting for you.

Image Credits: AntonioGuillem/ iStock/ Thinkstock Photos

What women absolutely need to know when having sex

If you are a woman with an active sex life, you need to know a few important things. Write them down and memorize them. You will thank us later.

Here’s what you should absolutely know:

  • Go wizz after you indulge in pata-pata. This prevents you from getting the oh so annoying UTIs. Cranberry juice doesn’t help much. Trust us.
  • Always carry condoms with you. What if the guy doesn’t have one in one of those ‘takes your breath away’ moment? You don’t want to be horny and then suddenly bitter because you cannot indulge in sex!
  • Be prudent and ask your guy if he suffers from any STIs before indulging in pleasure activities. We know it isn’t sexy but catching infection unawares is far worse. So, no risk taking here.
  • Always take your BC pills at the same time every day. Not only is it more effective, but also reduces you ‘Oh freak! Did I take my med or not!’ moments.
  • If you have any ingrown in your private areas, get them checked. Chances are that the bump in your vulva may well be a sign of a STD. It’s wise to get tested regularly anyway.
  • If your guy has a visible cold sore, avoid making out till you use 101 precautions. There are good chances he has herpes and greater chances that you might contract it too.
  • Don’t douche. You might be too conscious of your vaginal odour but tell you what, guys actually like it. And anyway making your vagina smell like roses instead is going to rid it of its good bacteria and make you more vulnerable to STDs!

Image Credits: Tay Jnr/ Photodisc/ Thinkstock Photos

How to create the perfect Valentine’s Day surprise

There is nothing like being at the receiving end of a lovely surprise on Valentine’s Day, from your spouse. Why not give exactly that to your better half this Valentine’s Day, and make him delightfully happy.

Here’s what you should do to plan the perfect surprise:

  • Always thoroughly investigate your partner’s choices (if you don’t already know what they are). You should know what he likes, what he wants, and where will he be available on that day so you can plan a surprise accordingly.
  • Learn how you will keep it a secret throughout. Practice your poker face and your calm body language well beforehand.
  • Take the help of your friends of his’, because the best surprises are often a group effort. They can flood you with ideas, and help you with specific deliveries and decorations if any.
  • Lastly plan everything to the last detail, beforehand. You don’t want any oops moments spinning your surprise on the very day.
  • Stay calm and throw the surprise. Don’t be jittery. An overflow of love always makes up for any flaws there might be in the surprise.

Go plan the most beautiful surprise, he has ever been given

Image Credits: nschatzi/ iStock/ Thinkstock Photos

3 Expert Dating Tips To Follow

There are a few things about dating that you must keep in mind. You could call them rules if you wish but make sure you follow them! This is coming straight from the experts who are experienced and have had their share of bad relationships. Let’s just save ourselves the trouble of first-hand experience then.

  1. Texting is a big NO! Texting once in a while is fine but if he only texts you and never calls, the dude is a loser. You may be wary of direct human interaction or speaking on the phone may be awkward but a relationship on text is not advisable. PICK UP THE PHONE!
  2. Don’t be the first one to call in the morning after the big night. You slept together finally and it was great. Awesome. We know you want to call immediately and speak about it because you are too polite. Resist that! Be cool. If you appear clingy, he will run.
  3. Drama is a red signal. If there is too much drama right from the start, he is not the guy for you. A relationship with your perfect guy will be simple.

Image Credits: moodboard/ moodboard/ Thinkstock Photos

Breakup Advice That You Must Remember

Breakups are hard. They simply suck. However, at one point you realize you have reached the end of the road and it is time to part ways. If that’s what’s on your mind, you might want to go through the following tips:

  1. Break up with him directly. Do not text or do it over the phone. Some people do it through Facebook! I mean, come on! Strap on a pair and do it face to face.
  2. Delete him from life completely. Remove him from your contact list, from your messenger, from Skype, from WhatsApp, and from Facebook.
  3. Give your reason. Honestly. Tell him what the problem is. He deserves to know.
  4. Indulge! You will need chocolates and pizzas more than ever! If you don’t like eating too much (the waistline!) you could go shopping or go for a nice long massage. Pamper yourself the way you want to. You’ll feel relaxed!
  5. Change! Get a new haircut! Change your staple dressing sense! Start a new career! Explore new possibilities!

Image Credits: Chris Lamphear/ iStock/ Thinkstock Photos

3 Tips To Dating A Single Father

Single dad, very attractive. Know someone like this? Oh we know how you feel. You want to catch his attention but you do not know how to go about it.

Yes, dating single dads is different from dating single guys. There are things to keep in mind and there are definitely ways to attract the hot, single man with a kid towards you. We have some tips:

  1. While flirting: The safest way to flirt is to start talking about his interests. Talk about his kids and compliment him on their energy or behavior. He will love that. Also, make sure you are not touchy. Flirt only with words and not your hands. You will come across as creepy if you flirt sexually in front of his kids.
  2. While talking to his kids: This, many women say, is the trickiest part of dating a single father. You must get along well with kids and that’s no piece of cake. Be nice and polite. Kids can be very suspecting and they will not like you if they don’t think they can trust you.
  3. While dating: You have to be patient here. You must not forget that he is a daddy and he has many responsibilities. He may not have much time now but if you are understanding and patient he will start taking time out for sure. Also, do not talk about his ex or why his marriage broke. That’s no topic to discuss on your first date.

Image Credits: omgimages/ iStock/ Thinkstock Photos

Why You Should Consider Dating Someone Out of Your Race

We are way past racism now and how amazing is that? If that’s not reason enough to explore other cultures, we will give you a few more!

Interracial relationships apparently come with numerous benefits. Restricting yourself to a particular race or country is pure nonsense.

  1. It shows confidence: Not everyone is willing to date someone out of his or her culture. That is why it shows confidence and the fact that he or she doesn’t care about what people think.
  2. You might make mistakes and you might say stuff that you don’t mean! But at the end of the day you’ll learn from every error. That will help you get attached. You will also laugh at those silly mistakes.
  3. You will learn how people think. Not everyone has the same train of thought as you. You will learn that when you date someone out of your race.
  4. When you step out of your comfort zone you will see that there are many more fish in the sea than you even dreamt!
  5. It is all about love! You will be a very strong person and you’ll stand for what you believe in regardless of what people tell. Love conquers!

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Signs That He May Never Want To Get Married

You are dating him and you really like him. You want to take things forward but there’s nothing from his side. What now?

Once we have dated a person for quite a while, regardless of how much we try, we end up thinking about the future – marriage and kids! However, months pass by and you don’t even get a hint from him about his thoughts. Does he not want to marry you? May be. Here are signs that affirmatively suggest so:

  1. He says it openly: Guys who say they don’t want to get married actually mean it. Some guys are truly open about it. So if he has every told you seriously that marriage is not on the cards, it is not.
  2. He only wants to hang out with his friends: Okay, boys need time with other guys. They want to watch the match and have some beers and play some games. You can’t expect your man to be with you round the clock. However, if your guy does not else other than hang out with his friends, it spells trouble.
  3. His work is his priority: These days you will find men who are so workaholic that they do not value relationships. Work always comes first for them and they would give up anything for it. It is time you realized that such people do not make great mates or even parents. Do you really want your kids to have a dad who doesn’t spend time with them?
  4. His parents are divorced: Estimates suggest that 75% men who have divorced parents hate the entire concept of marriage because they are scarred. Thus, if your guy comes from a broken family, may be he doesn’t want to risk getting married ever.

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